Yu Hao (Leo)

Many articles discuss how to write a Personal Statement (PS) for study abroad applications, often referencing ten popular opening sentences from successful Stanford University applications. These ten openings are frequently cited because they illustrate the principles of a great PS: distinct personal selling points, an attractive but not overly dramatic introduction, and the ability to spark curiosity in the reader.

However, most of these articles share the sentences without explaining why they work and what we can learn from them. In this article, I’ll discuss each opening and explain why they are effective, in the hope that it helps those preparing to write their own PS.

1. “I change my name each time I place an order at Starbucks.”

This opening is a favorite for many, including myself. Why? Because it piques curiosity. For those who have never used a different name at Starbucks, they wonder why someone would do this. For those who have, they wonder what the author’s reasons are. More importantly, how is this related to applying to Stanford? Astute readers realize that the key must be in the “name,” and names are closely related to concepts like nationality, race, gender, and culture. If the author had started by complaining about racial discrimination, it might leave a negative impression. Instead, they introduce the topic subtly, engaging the reader.

2. “When I was in the eighth grade, I couldn’t read.”

Although dyslexia is well-known today, it wasn’t as widely understood when the author applied. A statement like “I couldn’t read” immediately captures attention. The simple past tense implies that they have since overcome this challenge. One can imagine the author will share their journey of overcoming dyslexia, facing misunderstandings, prejudice, and even hostility. The resilient image introduced through a non-dramatic opening is more convincing and moving.

3. “While traveling through the daily path of life, have you ever stumbled upon a hidden pocket of the universe?”

A question immediately engages the reader, activating their curiosity. This question also suggests a profound perspective, making it clear that the applicant is interested in exploration—likely in astronomy or a related field. By using an interrogative opening, the applicant demonstrates creativity and self-awareness, qualities Stanford values. It’s an engaging way to tell the school, “I’m curious, creative, and passionate about my field.”

4. “I have old hands.”

This opening is one of my favorites. Just four words, yet they convey so much, sparking the reader’s imagination. Many students believe that using complex sentences makes their writing better, but often, short, evocative sentences are more powerful. This opening makes the reader wonder: why does the author have “old hands”? The curiosity drives them to read on. An analogous example could be: “I died once.” Feel the impact of that statement.

5. “I was paralyzed from the waist down. I would try to move my leg or even shift an ankle, but I never got a response. This was the first time thoughts of death ever crossed my mind.”

Unlike the profound simplicity of “I died once,” this opening draws the reader in by describing a vivid, life-changing moment. It’s important to use dramatic openings like this carefully. If the rest of the essay doesn’t connect this experience to the field of study, it might seem out of place. Ensure that the dramatic experience serves a purpose in your narrative.

6. “I almost didn’t live through September 11th, 2001.”

Mentioning a significant event can be powerful, especially when it’s something most people are hesitant to discuss. Writing such an opening draws attention, but remember that it doesn’t guarantee acceptance. It’s crucial to know why you’re including such an experience and to ensure that it ties into your overall story.

7. “The spaghetti burbled and slushed around the pan, and as I stirred it, the noises it gave off began to sound increasingly like bodily functions.”

This seemingly unrelated anecdote works because it highlights hands-on skills—valuable in a laboratory setting—and hints at an application to life sciences or medicine. It’s quirky, memorable, and subtly relevant.

8. “I have been surfing Lake Michigan since I was 3 years old.”

This opening is surprising: “3 years old?! You’re joking, right?!” The unexpected statement grabs attention, but the real question lies in “surfing Lake Michigan.” The applicant uses an element of surprise to keep the reader engaged, then follows up with a logical explanation that showcases their thinking skills.

9. “I stand on the riverbank surveying this rippled range like some riparian cowboy—instead of chaps, I wear vinyl, thigh-high waders, and a lasso of measuring tape and twine is slung over my arm.”

What is the author doing? This evocative description paints a vivid picture, suggesting the applicant’s interest in environmental studies or fieldwork. The flowing prose creates the sensation of reading a novel, indicating strong writing skills. If you want to write at this level, immersing yourself in novels and poetry can help.

10. “I had never seen anyone get so excited about mitochondria.”

If you’re applying for biology, expressing genuine fascination with mitochondria is a plus. Interest is the best teacher. This opening suggests that the author’s interest in biology is deep and genuine, making the reader want to know more.

Conclusion

A strong opening is crucial, but it’s only part of the story. The rest of your PS must live up to the promise of the opening, or the effect may be worse than a consistently average essay. Use these examples to inspire your own writing, but remember—it’s the entire Personal Statement that will win over admissions officers. If your essay is strong overall, spend time refining the opening to make it as engaging as possible.